When I Feel

[I’ve been wanting to write a more simple poem for a while, one that’s more literal with very little symbolism compared to my previous writings. I’ve also been wanting to write one that rhymed, more or less. Both of those things are usually quite a challenge for me. (In fact, I was beginning to think my brain just couldn’t work that way.) But today I got a rhythm going, and what I wanted to say happened to fit those criteria. So here we have it. A simple, short, rhyming poem. I do believe it’s my first! I’d love to have some feedback and opinions on it from you!]

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{Image courtesy of Byoki Desu}

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I feel it when the memories come of when we’ve laughed and talked

I feel it when I think about the many jokes we’ve swapped

I feel it when I’m wishing your smile would ne’er depart    

And I feel it when I’m studying the silence in your heart          

 I’m feeling like a wave has come and crashed into my soul

And I’m not sure if that is a good feeling after all

  I feel it when the lights go out and I am here alone

      I feel as though I’m falling… but the destination’s unknown

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Copyright © Bethany Richardson 2012

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19 thoughts on “When I Feel

  1. Janet says:

    Hi Bethany, thanks so much for coming by my blog today.

  2. I don’t think there’s a better feeling in the world then the first time you realize how much you love someone. A great first poem!

    • Bethany says:

      Love: it’s probably the most complicated, confusing, and thrilling thing about life. You’re quite right. And thank you for your kind compliment! : )

  3. lily2u1 says:

    What is it about the last (2) lines of poems? It is if a path leads to them, to the real gem… ~ Lily

    • Bethany says:

      That’s the way I feel, also! It’s like everything that you’re trying to say finally comes to a point. Most of the time when I write, I actually have the last two lines pop into my head at the very beginning. Then I try to particularly craft the lines before them to give the last lines their full meaning. Thank you for reading, Lily! : )

  4. Reading and then re-reading it is hard to think this was a first attempt. 🙂 You did it so beautifully. You make the reader be there with you. Leaving little to question, but also leaving an opening for anyone to exchange the word “it” for their own feeling that fits in with the words; which does leave one feel as they are “falling” into their own “destination’s unknown”.

    My 2 cents,
    C

  5. bipolarmuse says:

    Great poem!! Beautiful…

  6. what a beautiful poem 🙂

  7. There’s much to enjoy about this poem, but I really like most how you used spacing to create a “wave”….like the one that has “crashed into your soul”….very nice visual!

    • Bethany says:

      That’s just the imagery I was trying to give. 🙂 Well… I will admit from the first it was an accident. The spacing went all weird on the first couple of lines, but before I fixed it I thought, “Hmm, this could work…” And there you have it. lol But I’m glad you noticed!

  8. Ayasonice says:

    Oh my! I’m delighted to see this poem from you. It is excellent! “I feel it when I’m studying the silence in your heart.”… There is so much depth to your writing. We sometimes have to become mind readers (and in this case, readers of the heart)… all in the name of love! A very delectable piece of poesy! Mmmm

    • Bethany says:

      Thank you so much, Ayasonice! It always touches me when others search and find what I’m trying to translate from feelings to words. I’m very honored that you like it. : )

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