My Tainted Preservations

Lying on the bed of my own disillusions

My limbs strapped down by this dull grief

I am weighted

trapped

affixed

By the pressure, the haunting awareness of cognizance

.

Reflections that in I once relished

cherished

hoped for 

Now have me sighing, just wishing they’d go

.

And passersby see me, the disheartened waif

Into the smudged window of my sickroom

They peer,

glance

observe

“Oh, tisn’t that bad. She’ll be over it soon.”

Who are you to give my diagnosis?

This injury has not been inflicted you

.

Despite manifold predictions of the sage,

The skies of my heart weep streams of formaldehyde 

I’m choking on what I try to preserve

 

Copyright © Bethany Richardson 2012

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15 thoughts on “My Tainted Preservations

  1. Love your style of writing! 🙂

  2. Bethany says:

    Thank you! Your words encourage me : )

  3. lily2u1 says:

    I especially like the 3rd stanza; vivid imagery and I feel your disdain, hurt, and isolation, leading right into the final stanza of acerbic melancholy. The use of the word “formaldehyde” with “preserve” and “preservations” and in conjunction with the hospital room, is riveting; this, along with the smudged windows, gives me a choking, claustrophobic sort of feeling. It is difficult to thank you for those feelings, of course– but thank you for making me Feel, and know what you feel or felt. Carry on, Bethany. ~ Lily

  4. Bethany says:

    Thank you so much, Lily! That was just the feeling I was trying to translate from emotion to words; like you, I’m not really sure if I should consider that a good thing. 😉

  5. very powerful poem. the last line is very significant. You really tap into some important feelings and truth. Love to you, Linda

  6. Bethany says:

    Thank you, Linda! I had hoped that last line would embody the overall meaning of the poem. Love to you and your beautiful writings as well, and thank you for visiting!

  7. Littleskew says:

    This is beautifully written. Such feeling behind it also.
    I really like: ‘Who are you to give my diagnosis? This injury has not been inflicted you’

  8. Ayasonice says:

    “The skies of my heart weep streams of formaldehyde.”… toxic. A very profound line indeed. This is very gripping from start to finish! I really like your way of expression. I hope you are doing well there.

    • Bethany says:

      Thank you, your words truly honor me. : ) I think this was my favorite line of this poem. What a relief it was to capture the feeling perfectly in words! Too often we try to preserve things that have already died. I am doing well, despite the content of this poem. lol Actually, as I was writing this, I was bringing back feelings from the past, not basking in those of the present. 😉 Thank you for your well-wishes!

  9. Ayasonice says:

    Yes, the words here are riveting. I’m glad you’re doing well 🙂

  10. This is beautifully sad. So often we hold onto the past, when all that does is ruin the present. You really have a way with words. Never stop writing! 🙂

  11. How well you write …

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